Nursery Crimes...

Despite their tender years, my kids, like most children nowadays, are extremely cyber savvy. They negotiate the internet and various phone  apps like seasoned pro's, and they'll even help out their aged parents on occasion!

But beyond the funny YouTube videos and exciting games, and the vast diversion of Netflix/Lovefilm lurks a shadowy underworld, lying in wait to ensnare the unwitting. We've had 'the talk', of course, and discussed various aspects of internet safety, but I still keep a very close eye on the stuff my kids watch.

The other day, I was telling the kidlets about my own childhood, and I'm sure you can imagine the horror on their faces when they learned there was no internet back then. Not only that, but we only had three TV channels, none of them kiddie friendly - with the exception of the BBC which had a few programmes scheduled at lunchtime and teatime. (Brits of a certain age will remember BBC 1 & 2 ended at midnight with a rousing rendition of 'God Save the Queen.' Happy days! :) )

Anyway, somehow or other, my son and I began discussing the nursery rhymes of those long ago days of my youth, back when God was nowt but a lad. As we were reciting these rhymes, however, a terrible realization struck me. Have you any idea just how gruesome and violent these things really are?

Don't believe me? Okay. May I present exhibit one:

'Goosey Goosey Gander where shall I wander,

Upstairs, downstairs and in my lady's chamber

There I met an old man who wouldn't say his prayers,

I took him by the left leg and threw him down the stairs...'

See? Gruesome! I'll spare you the next verse where the unfortunate old fellow suffers a broken back as a result of his fall and the subsequent glee of those twisted birds.

How about a lullaby? Surely there's nothing violent about one of those? Ahem. Exhibit two, m'lord: Rock a bye baby.

'Rock a bye baby on the tree top,

When the wind blows the cradle will rock,

When the bough breaks the cradle will fall,

And down will come baby, cradle and all.'(WTF?!*)

Moving on...

Exhibit three:

'Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water

Jack fell down and broke his crown(!)

And Jill came tumbling after....'

Can you see a theme developing here? Here's another:

'Mary Mary quite contrary,

How does your garden grow?

With silver bells and cockle shells

And pretty maids all in a row...'

That last one seems innocent enough doesn't it? Wrong! Take a look at the origins of this lovely little rhyme: '...The silver bells and cockle shells referred to in the Nursery Rhyme were colloquialisms for instruments of torture. The 'silver bells' were thumbscrews which crushed the thumb between two hard surfaces by the tightening of a screw. The 'cockleshells' were believed to be instruments of torture which were attached to the genitals!'

And the list goes on. (http://www.rhymes.org.uk/)

S'funny, but suddenly the internet seems a much gentler place.
Bye! Have a great day.